I am an extreme planner. I use to have Hayes’ schedule figured out almost to the minute because I was THAT detail oriented. I still see nothing wrong with that. I can pretty much guess exactly how she is feeling based on the time of day, still assuming she is not sick or we haven’t upset her schedule with a trip, etc.
I am a certified wedding planner, though I hung up my clipboard and walkie talkies after my last wedding – outdoor, hottest day of the month of June, 18 weeks pregnant, father of the bride hit by a car as everything was wrapping up (that is a different post for a different blog). I love to plan and I REALLY love planning weddings. I REALLY REALLY love planning my life.
This whole adoption thing has me scrambling for that clipboard and my two-way radio and ready to bark out orders to whomever is available to fulfill them. I like being “in the know” especially with big things. However, my idea of “in the know” would require weekly check-ins by our social worker and I realize we are not his only adoptive family but I’d like to think that is the case and be treated as such. I know that makes me seem really selfish but I just like the reassurance that we have not been forgotten about. This is not like the pregnancy process where you get monthly, bi-weekly, weekly and sometimes daily updates.
Several weeks had passed since our last contact with our social worker so I sent him an inquisitive e-mail. Anything new? Do we need to be doing something? Has our profile been shown? Do we need to change it? Thankfully, he called me this morning to respond. He assured me that our profile had been shown once, they liked it but had already chosen a family before seeing us. He suggested we increase our exposure by having our homestudy sent to Lifeline or to any other agency we wanted it sent. We had NO IDEA we could do this. I was taken aback and my first gut reaction was, “Isn’t that cheating?” Then I thought, “How much is this going to cost on top of what we have already paid to this agency?” I told him I was not sure what Lifeline’s policies were and we were not up to paying out the wazoo just to increase our visibility. We aren’t a business looking to advertise. He suggested I at least make the call and go from there.
I sent an e-mail and am still awaiting a response. While I like the idea of “more exposure” and increasing our chances of getting matched sooner than later, I DO NOT want to try and force my will on our family. I know Rob is ready to get his hands on a baby as much as I am (which is not something I’d have ever said before H was born). I also know he wants God’s will over our own.
If you want to pray for us, pray that God makes HIS plan very clear and makes it impossible for us to move any direction but His. We have been both in and out of His will at some point in our lives and we find that IN is much better than out. These verses struck a chord this evening while I was reading, especially Isaiah’s.
“You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.”
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9